When my son was 2 and saw me painting my toenails, I did paint his as well when he asked me to. Admittedly it was just with clear nail polish, because I know he didn't care what color, but rather he wanted to do it just because I was. I think when kids are little, it's so easy to just let them wear whatever they want, dress up in whatever they want, and not focus so much on what it means in the long run. When they get to school age, it gets tougher because we begin to care more about what others will think or do based on how they look. This is unfortunate, but true.

In the ad, what struck me first was the happy connection between mom and child, not actually that there was nail polishing going on. Since the mom in the photo is Jenna Lyons, who is the president of J. Crew, I suspect that this ad was a conscious, deliberate attempt on her part to create attention to the catalog and J. Crew's products.

Honestly I wouldn't care if my son wore polish. There are far worse things to worry about in life!

My sons where pink t-shirts all the time - one even says "'Tuff enough to wear pink" I have no problem with it and they don't either. While none of them have ever asked to have their nails painted, nor do I think they would ever. I wouldn't completly oppose it, although I would do clear and I would want to know why. Because I do, did they see it in an add, just wants to know what if feels like?

Not a mom but an uncle of 3 tykes. The middle tyke told me she didn't like blue because it was a "boy color." I spent the rest of the afternoon trying to get her to un-learn that.

I guess I will be the first to go on the record as saying I wouldn't let my sons wear pink. While I think the J.Crew ad was a well-orchestrated PR stunt (kudos J.Crew) it did bring up issues that I often wrestle with as a mother of two boys. Back before I had kids, I was definitely in the "freedom of expression, not going to let society dictate what my child does" camp, but now that I am a mother of boys (MOB as we are apparently called), my tune has changed. We do live in a world where people are judged by appearances and until my kids are old enough to make such decisions for themselves and understand the consequences of their decisions, I make the decision for them. When the issue comes up, and believe me it does -- usually when shopping -- I very gently say, "I think that shirt is for a girl" and steer them into the gender-appropriate department. I kind of look at in the same way I look at telling them they can't wear their flip flops to school in January. It's in their best interest to wear closed shoes, whether they get it or not.

I would think psychologically as young children...5 and under, being that is their most learned time frame, that is the most crucial for expression as well as explanation. So I would think that playing around painting nails, whatever the color, as well as the color of their clothes....is ok while under 5. But, I think, as parents, we need to explain to them these things all around. If they want to paint their nails...explain that usually girls paint their nails, but some boys do too....most girls paint their nails a color whereas most men paint them clear. However, there are those groups of men and women that paint them black or orange...to be different. It's all about style and where you want to be. And I think as you talk to them like they are grown ups and explain things...it prepares them for the 5+ time that is where we become more conscious as parents about what our children are doing and what directions they are heading in...whether it be style or groups or what have you. But, just letting your kids do it, without choices and knowing whats possibly in store for them, I think could be damaging at times. Take preschool....if your child is 3 and in school...a boy had just painted his nails with mommy...and decides to tell his classmates...there is a very good chance he may encounter a child that makes fun of him. SO, I think its all okay...but always with giving them all the information AND then letting them decide if that's still what they want.

Girls can wear any color they like without fear of stigma, so why shouldn't the same be true for boys? As a parent I would strive to treat my children equally, and not allowing a boy to wear a certain color certainly does not constitute equal treatment. I don't think I'd go out of my way to have him paint his nails, but if he wanted to...why not? It's not something that would harm anyone else, and stifling self-expression in children can be harmful psychologically. I would definitely let my son wear pink or my daughter wear blue.

I have a pink sweatshirt that several women told me I shouldn't wear. I could care less about the color. It keeps me warm in the winter and that's the most important thing that counts. When it's worn out, then I'll get rid of it. And I'm in my 50's!

@J.Marangos...I agree that we as parents guide our children the way the stereotype dictates. And honestly, if you go to the boys section, there isn't really a choice to confuse the issue...on what color to choose. However, I do know that depending on the social circle you travel in, is depending on what attire is acceptable. Where your average son would wear jeans and a shirt...someone from high society would be wearing slacks, possibly a pink shirt with a tie to coordinate. So, I do think, that not only age but social class may play a part. I think a 10 year old boy from a middle class family, would not wear such a thing, whereas a higher end family, that may be their casual attire. However, I think teen boys ...middle class family...I think they can pull off a pink shirt...why not. But again, as children under five, I definitely think that stereotype guides most of us, where class structure will add it's part as well. But, I think the J.Crew ad was also used to incite questions on is it safe to paint children's nails.... which was a big controversy in and of itself....that boiled down to....there is harmful components to nail polish but if it is once and a while, it probably has no effect. But I do think...for the average child... that as long as the older children know what they are getting themselves into....I don't see it as a problem...I think, little kids...need us to steer them towards the stuff that won't make them possibly get made fun of.

When they are little, it's pink shirts and nail polish... As teens, it could be tattoos and piercings! Pick your battles and always talk to your children!

I have a problem with the question "Do real boys wear pink?" What the hell does that mean? Are you insinuating that if a boy wears pink he is gay or he's less of a person? That's what it sounds like. I take offense to the question. Pink is just another color. I am mom of a girl and a boy. My son is 9. Is pink a staple in his wardrobe? No. If he saw a pink shirt in the boys section that he liked and wanted I would get it for him. If he is happy with who he is within himself that's what matters. Our job as parents is to teach and give our children self confidence and raise their self esteem. As for painting your kids nails, my daughter would ask me to paint her nails when she was younger. I did. However, I stopped when I caught her scraping the polish off with her teeth. She didn't like how it felt on her nails. Luckily she didn't get sick because of the chemicals ingested. My son never asked for his nails to be painted. He could care less. My hope for both of my kids is that they have self confidence and high self-esteem.

So Lisa, you want to raise two Narcissistic kids that think they are right and do no wrong? Self respect would be more admirable. Of course new age psychology pushes self confidence and high self-esteem and we can see where that has gotten our society since the 1960's as that was the choice of the baby boomers with flower power and is also the same stuff being taught in our schools. That is why we need a change in the educational spending habits, a change in the method of taxation, and we need to return to traditional values; not the moral corrupting things we see going on today.

I have a son and while he is now 17, he has and will continue to wear whatever color he wants. He has worn pink before and no big deal came from it. I say if they chose that color for a shirt ect let them. Telling them NO adds to the stigma problem that exists. What happens when your son has a friend that wears a pink shirt and he says WOW your allowed? My mom said no way...imagine where that conversation will go. Sometimes I think we make situations where one is not needed. I have to say, my brother-in-law is gay and actually can't stand the color pink and doesn't wear it. Imagine that...I think we all need to start thinking generational diversity. Things have changed since we were all young children/teens. FYI my husband has a few pink shirts/sweaters and I think he look very handsome in them if I say so myself.

@Lisa...I don't know if anyone should have a problem with any question, it's just meant in good, clean conversation that is just bringing up thoughts of what some may be questioning. I don't think there is anything wrong with wondering about the issues that go along with stepping out of the stereotypical box and wondering what may happen and if it is something that most or some or none would do. I do agree, that we as parents do have to make sure we support our children in their decisions and guide them to have self confidence and feel good about themselves. @Sean...I'm not sure which Lisa you are referring to, but judging from the comments, I don't think any one of us...Lisa's and all alike, are trying to raise narcissistic kids at all. The reason we are talking about these issues, is to bring awareness to our circle and see what the social thought process is. However, I don't think that pushing a child to have self confidence or to have a healthy self esteem would be anything but a positive notion. I also think that moving into the thought that spending habits and taxation is moving way off topic. Because I am not seeing the connection between the method of taxation and tradition values and this particular conversation of stereotypical clothing for boys. I think traditions are important, but I do think we are in a changing society, which if we don't teach our children to change, rather than stay static, that we are only hurting them and our society.

I would have no problem letting my sons where pink....I do sometimes. Painting their nails...well....its not something I would openly endorse but hell, if that's what they really want to do....I guess go for it! lol

@Jeanne. There is a definite connection between the political landscape, narcissism, and pushing self confidence and high self esteem. The changes taking place in our society I am referring to are the self interests groups wanting their way and not what is best for the given economic conditions and the masses. Positive society changes deal with better technologies and ways of doing things that can produce more with less at a cheaper, cleaner, and more efficient process. Progressive society changes you reference will allow Presbyterians to clear way for gays to serve in ministry (see mcall.com) which will eroding positive morals and values little by little. We must maintain certain moral beliefs to guide our youth. We can be accepting of a person but not their behavior while still having respect and humility guiding your actions. It is not about writing what you think people want to hear, but doing and living by those words which connect back to positive morals and values. So it doesn’t matter if a boy wears pink or a girl blue, what matters is do they know right from wrong, what is expected from them, and the decision to choose either direction is up to them with positive or negative consequences that a mom and dad can not accept on their behalf for ever. The thing is, the color of their shirt does not have anything to do with the real issue set by the example. That is why our voice in the broken system of government is important.

Someone better tell Ralph Lauren that after eleventy-billion years (and approximately eleventy-billion dollars in sales) that he's been doing it wrong all along!

http://www.ralphlauren.com/family/index.jsp?categoryId=1760809&cp=1760781&f=GenericColor%2FPOLO%2FPink&fbc=1&fbn=GenericColor|Pink

Jeeze. It's a color, folks...not an endorsement of a lifestyle. Is there a scale for colors? I mean if pink is the ne plus ultra of determining a man's sexuality, then does pale green or yellow or light blue make him more masculine on a sliding scale?

I wish more men *would* wear color - pink included. Sometimes here in the Lehigh Valley, I think the steel/iron/coal plants are still in business because the majority of the men wear black/grey/dark brown.

To quote Warren Oates in "Stripes" - "Lighten up, Francis"! A confident man - of any sexual orientation - knows what looks good on him and wears it with style.

Pamela

@SEAN I think you are on an entirely different track than what this forum started out as. If you are gay or pro gay that is fine talk to the issue if you are neither than talkto that isssue. this bouncing around about political issues and whatever other things you decided to bring to the table is far beyond the scope of this talk and forum as for morality this does not come from a color of a shirt nor does feeling good about oneself. self esteem is a necessiity to teach children and does not make them a narcissit nor does it make them anythig but confident which the goal of every parent and every human being.

There was a time in our history when pink WAS the recommended fashion color for boys and blue was the color for girls, when both princes and pirates wore earrings, and nail and body painting was ritualistic for men of power in both "highly-cultured" societies as well as primitive tribal communities. In the 1950's back when we were being taught to fear communism and "alternative thinking" that challenged the status quo there was an orchestrated effort in the fashion industry to eliminate gender bias in color selection by encouraging girls to wear pink and boys to wear blue which backfired and resulted in the reverse. So think about who made the rule that "pink is for girls". Its the same group that wants you to buy stuff that earlier had clearly made the rule that pink is for boys!

About the add---Clearly this boy is not against having his toenails painted, pink or otherwise but is having quality time with his mom. If my daughter wanted to paint my toenails, should I be forever stigmatized by it? If my son asked me to paint his toes, too, should I refuse him? Our children know what they like and what they don't like and are uncertain about so many things. Why disrupt the joy and fascination of their childhood by encouraging fear and bias where it doesn't belong? My mother taught me to tie macrame and to sew and knit when I was little because I wanted to learn what she was so talented doing. It didn't stop me from playing Army with my older brothers and the neighborhood kids or playing baseball, football and soccer.
Doing "girl" things with my mom, didn't cause me love opera or going to that ballet but that was encouraged by my father, a very conservative and former green beret, who took me to the orchestra and the theater, and he coached our baseball team. One of his favorite ties (that I still wear) is pink. Real boys wear pink, and every other color too. My youngest daughter loves it when I wear my pink shirts to work and I make sure I wear pink socks to match!

Let everyone where whatever color they choose. It's just an expression of a mood.

I like pink on males. It shows their softer side.

Whether a boy wears pink or not shouldn't even be an issue. If he is comfortable with it, then everyone else should be. People need to stop judging people by what clothes they wear.

The original colors for Penn State's football team were pink and black. The uniforms faded to white and blue as we see today, and those colors stuck as the team & school colors.

I think it is only in the past few years/decades that we started associating pink with girls and blue with boys. Would love to get some research on this!

We need to stop associating color with male or female. Let people wear whatever they want.

WOW! I don't know what to think after reading all these comments! I have a daughter and a son. Bottom line-it is our job as parents to teach our children right from wrong. They do not have the knowledge nor the experience to make decisions on their own as children. It's part of our responsibility as parents to guide our children; not let them be free thinking children who have nothing to base their actions on. Why are we engaging in the feminization of men anyway? My daughter wears nail polish but I will NOT let my son. He, at the age of 7, clearly knows there is and should be a difference between he and his sister! There is a line to be drawn. In most cases there is black and white and no gray area! Boys don't wear nail polish just like they don't wear high heels!?!?!? If you are okay with your son wearing nail polish, are you also okay with him wearing a skirt and high heels??

Erin, can you tell me WHY it's not ok for a boy to wear polish, or pink for tht matter? is it "just because?" I would hope there's a better reason than that. Why would putting polish on your son be an effeminization of him? he's a "real boy" tell him to check his pants and guess what he'll find. And while I agree that parents need to teach right from wrong, it seems lumping this in that category is a bit strong. Do you then tell your girl that she CANNOT be a fireman, or play baseball as that's just wrong, boys and girls need to be different as you say, so can you please tell me why when your son does something that usually girls do that it's wrong, but when a girl does something usually men do it's RIGHT. That makes no sense to me from a logic point of view. the skirt and high heel thing is not comparable at all. To be fair, why couldn't he wear a skirt? Your daughter I assume wears pants.

The point is our society gives girls free reign, yet not the boys, and nobody I have ever discussed this with can give me a reason why. Other than "Hmmph, well, just because" well, Hmmpphh. why don't we think about why that is for a change? just sayin'.